Welcome 2013 It's been a Long and Bumpy Journey!

I can't quite believe another year has gone by without me blogging here - well I can, but.... It has been a year of big changes and preparation and getting ready and waiting and waiting and waiting. It has tested me and pushed me to the limit. Almost. At times. A year of uncertainty. The doors I pushed in 2011 finally opened in 2012. A dream finally fullfilled in an unexpected way. My excuse for not blogging here? I am finally a Mum and loving it. I have been pushing the doors of adoption for the last 2 years. It has been rather all consuming it has to be said and most of my free time was taken up with form filling in, visits with professionals, compiling files ready for approval. At times I felt as if my creativity was being stifled, although I did my best to keep my creativity going. It has been in the writing for the assessments, where you spend hours and hours each week pouring out your heart and inner being. Months of preparing files with photos of evidence of childcare experience, which I scrapbooked! Further months getting the room ready and preparing a scrapbook of photos to introduce my little girl to her new home and surroundings - and of course the cat! More of all this later! Anyway, finally, here we are. It has been a long journey and lots of uncertainty and a very bumpy ride. Finally we are now both home and doing well. I am loving it but have been too knackared to do much creative in the last few months since we both arrived safely home. The creative things I have done over the last 2 years: scrapbooking, decorating, have all been kept a little quiet as there was so much uncertainty surrounding the process. Getting the room ready:

The cat is adjusting well to having a wee girl chase him everywhere and runs and jumps fast to escape.She, shrieks with delight when he sits on her artwork - usually on her glitter glue!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!
He is Risen indeed!It is such a beautiful day here! I thought I would share it with you.Spring really seems to be finally here!I have been out for a walk today, enjoying being refreshed in the sunshine and fresh air, whilst discovering such beautiful and vibrant colours all around me.Happy Easter!

My Ode to Autumn: Golden Moments.

Golden moments, for His Glory.
Letting go.
Doing less and enjoying more. It is amazing what space and freedom brings.
It hasn't all been easy though,this letting go of ministry stuff this last year for this season combined with having post viral fatigue. Wondering who am I and where am I going, what shall I do next, what is on His heart for me? physical challenges of needing sleep, flu like achy legs, constant tiredness. Needing to try and learn to pace myself, saying no, pushing myself to do some walking every day, meeting with friends each day, drink lots of water, eat healthy,get back to work, begin to increase my capacity for "stuff". A season of things being stripped away, vulnerability, the here I am, just me, Luci. Meanwhile, It has been a time of re-discovery, inner beauty, affirmation of firm foundations, a desire to go deeper, for roots to grow and to drink deeply in Him. A season of really enjoying walks, fresh air and my friends and family.
A beautiful park nearby that sometimes has taken me 10 minutes to walk there and gradually, over months to increase it to an hour a day +.Mini milestones. Lovely friends and family to see, when I would have normally been at work and friends to maintain contact with since returning to work. They have encouraged and supported and helped me through this physically and also as I walk through the questions of what is next, Lord?




My golden moments are:
Time and space to enjoy being and doing nothing.
The gift of laughter and friendship.
Learning to take time to look at the flowers, trees and wondeful colours.
Time to enjoy learning and re-discovering.
Learning new skills and nurturing and developing hidden ones.
Time to think and pray. Time to enjoy. Enjoying the wonder in the small things, the beauty in His creation.
For His glory.
In all this: that God might be Glorified.

My Ode to Autumn: The Red Leaf.

I found one!
right on the floor as I walked through the park, the other day.
I have such great memories of finding red leaves. My birthday is during Autumn and I have a vivid memories of childhood parties at home. There would often be the game:"hunt the leaf." The leader, my big sister, would call out the colour, name, number or shape of a leaf to go and find. everyone would dash off, scrunching and scurrying or squishing (depending on the weather that day)through the leaves until we found one. We would dash back to her in the middle of the garden, clutching our leaf or leaves as if it were treasure to listen for the next challenge.
no prizes or treats given in this game, just the joy of discovering our own valued and precious treasure.
The most highly prized treasure, for me, was always finding the Red Leaf.
Such memories came flooding back when i found this leaf, right in front of me, staring me in the face.
Treasure.
My Red Leaf.

My Ode to Autumn: Flourishing Trees.

This last week I have been reading and pondering on a passage from Proverbs 11 about having a God shaped life.
This has got me thinking and praying and asking the Lord, what shape am I and how can I continue to grow in this shape?






Not tall or thin or fat or small, but what is my part in the Kingdom of God?

My identity, my "Luciness", the skills, qualities, gifting, talents, my Friends and family and life experiences that shape me into the person that I am today?

You might have come across the book: the mission shaped church, but us being mission shaped as individuals? How can we hear His heartbeat more and to know what He is asking of us?The verse from the Message says this:"having a God shaped life is like a flourishing tree." So, does this mean that I, Luci must always be flourishing, bursting with flowers and rich in leaves, constantly, continually, all year round?
Some trees are all gnarled and twisted, whilst others have their branches upturned to heaven, almost in worship. On windy days they sway with the wind. They change dramatically as they grow and go through seasons. Adaptable, resilient, aware of times of rest and bringing forth life and going through seasons of change.



Each one unique and each one has it's place and is rooted firmly and deeply.

I can wrestle with being a people pleaser, struggling with proving myself when people ask:"What is Luci doing?" This was particularly true, when I was in full time ministry with YWAM for a number of years, sometimes feeling the pressure to be driven to do, rather than simply to be.




We were often reminded that God loves and cares more about us as individuals for who we are and not for what we do and yet I felt this tension of doing rather than being. As God created the seasons, so we have times of going through the seasons too. Autumn, Winter, Spring, Summer.

This last year I have been in Autumn and Winter, after the Lord whispered to me the word: change. I started with letting go of some ministry I had been doing, sensing that it was right to pass the baton on.
Perhaps a bit like Autumn...leaves....falling.
Then came Winter, where I almost literally hibernated.
This was the season I was not expecting! I got 2 bugs back to back in January, sleeping for days and nights at a time. When I awoke, I exhausted. I was diagnosed with post viral fatigue and it has been a gradual process of gaining strength and pacing life throughout this year, learning all the time and resting lots.

I have constantly known that the Lord is in this for me, and that during this time, He is preparing me for what is next.

Just like with a tree.

I can almost hardly wait to see what springs up, next!
If you are in Autumn and needing to let go of some things, do it and enjoy Winter and His special time of rest for you.
As Psalm 1 says, blessed is the one who is like a tree planted by water.

Enjoy discovering you own shape, to live a God shaped life.

I am.

Maybe I have always wanted to be a tree, after all....

as long as it is God-shaped and funky!