Welcome 2013 It's been a Long and Bumpy Journey!

I can't quite believe another year has gone by without me blogging here - well I can, but.... It has been a year of big changes and preparation and getting ready and waiting and waiting and waiting. It has tested me and pushed me to the limit. Almost. At times. A year of uncertainty. The doors I pushed in 2011 finally opened in 2012. A dream finally fullfilled in an unexpected way. My excuse for not blogging here? I am finally a Mum and loving it. I have been pushing the doors of adoption for the last 2 years. It has been rather all consuming it has to be said and most of my free time was taken up with form filling in, visits with professionals, compiling files ready for approval. At times I felt as if my creativity was being stifled, although I did my best to keep my creativity going. It has been in the writing for the assessments, where you spend hours and hours each week pouring out your heart and inner being. Months of preparing files with photos of evidence of childcare experience, which I scrapbooked! Further months getting the room ready and preparing a scrapbook of photos to introduce my little girl to her new home and surroundings - and of course the cat! More of all this later! Anyway, finally, here we are. It has been a long journey and lots of uncertainty and a very bumpy ride. Finally we are now both home and doing well. I am loving it but have been too knackared to do much creative in the last few months since we both arrived safely home. The creative things I have done over the last 2 years: scrapbooking, decorating, have all been kept a little quiet as there was so much uncertainty surrounding the process. Getting the room ready:

The cat is adjusting well to having a wee girl chase him everywhere and runs and jumps fast to escape.She, shrieks with delight when he sits on her artwork - usually on her glitter glue!

Advent Journeys and Gifts

I promised to update you of my journey this advent time of the idea and challenge of silence.
It is tough.
silence is golden....hard to find....
priceless though when it is discovered....and treasured.
My Advent journey had me reflecting on Mary's song.
The Eager Expectation, the waiting, the pregnant pause.
I have so often felt during these last few months empty handed and struggled with that feeling.
empty handed and yet,the almost silent whisper of hope...the realisation that if I am empty handed, then I am then ready to receive.
I love this verse from Mary's Song:
the promise in Luke 1 verse 53:
He has filled the hungry with good things.
I have hope, empty hands open,ready to receive the gift from Him.
Whatever it is.
My gift.
Uniquely wrapped for me.
The joy of waiting is here.
I am finally delighted I am temporarily empty handed.
Are you?

Santa Cake

I made this really cute Santa Christmas Cake.
This weekend.
Very proud.
Chocolate cake.
Yum!
But....
I
Am
Heartbroken.
Life is hard.
I have to give my really cute and very proud of my Santa Chocolate Cake away.
Yes, give the cake away.
Noooo!
Yes, true.
It had to be done.
That was the deal.
Ouch.


I took him to work today, ready for the guess the weight of the cake competition this week.
I left him on the table in the staff room with a LARGE note which read:

Santa Christmas Cake:
Please Look
do NOT touch.
do NOT eat.
(he is for the guess the weight of the cake competition for our Christmas Fayre)

So far, he is still intact.
A miracle in itself.
I now need to make one more for me and one for my work colleagues...
TO EAT!
(which is my cure for my heartbreak of having to give away my really cute Santa Christmas Chocolate cake)
What would your cure be?

Maybe.... I could enter the guess the weight of my really cute Santa Christmas Chocolate cake and win him back???

Advent Sunday and beyond

So it is here, Advent,to my surprise and maybe to you to? Advent Sunday before December 1st. I always think of it as being the 1st December with the mad dash for the window and the chocolates.
A time of waiting and expectation, I heard at church.
Recently on TV there was a documentary programme on 5 people embarking on a faith journey called the big silence. 5 people went on a 8 day silent retreat.
It was fascinating to watch as I saw a little of it. One guy said he heard God speak to Him and say:I've always been here,it is just that you haven't been listening. Powerful stuff.Powerful answers for the powerful questions.
The question is: will we wait?
Will we have the wait of silence, the pregnant pause before delivery at this time of advent?

The wait.
The silence.
The breakthrough moment.

The challenge given yesterday was to have a time of silence (for a period of time) waiting each day during advent.In the big Silence programme it was 20 minutes a day after they got home from retreat.

The rules?
TV off.
Phone off.
Radio off.
No talking.
No giggling.
Sit or be somewhere comfy.
Silence.
The waiting.
Waiting in expectation.
Eager expectation.
I wonder what will happen?
If we dare to be empty handed, and hold on a wait,what gift we will receive?

A bit like waiting for Christmas, really.
At least, I think this is how it is meant to be.

Anyone else in for a bit of eager expectation at this time of advent?
I am.

I will keep you posted.

Half Term week of 365

Sunday 297/365Trying to get a photo of the new baby was almost impossible with the rest of them clambering all over me!

Monday 298/365 THEY all came round to see me and SHE found MY shoes.

Tuesday 299/365Christmas shopping! (All hidden of course!)

Wednesday 300/365 Christmas creative sewing day... but sshhh it is a secret, of course!

Thursday 301/365 Surprise!

Friday 302/365 A visit to the Hummingbird Bakery!

Saturday 303/365 The Michelin Tyres Car Garage, now an Oyster bar.

Time Worn

When I read the prompt for this week's Sunday creative: TIMEWORN there could only be one thing for me to write about and photograph.
Meet Merrythought.

My much loved and worn with time teddy bear.
I have had him since I was 1 years old.
So he is 44.
He has been cuddled, sat on - I used to sit on him in church as the pews were hard when I was about 4 - his nose is slightly squished and off centre,now.
He used to have a growl but then he needed a big thump in his tummy for it to work and now it doesn't work at all. I can still feel it in there somewhere.
He sat in the garden for many a tea party and attended several teddy bear's picnics.
He has been into hospital with me and once came out of theatre wearing an eye patch and those dark green theatre knickers!
He used to sit on my bed,along with my other toys all lined up nice and tidy when I went to school.He would then be dragged down the stairs everyday when I was at school by my dog,Fred, when he was a puppy. He was a small poodle, who used to systematically collect from my bed each toy in turn from the bed and drag each one thump, thump, thump downstairs before running back upstairs to repeat the exercise with the next item until he had either completed his mission or my Mother caught and scolded him.
Before I went to college, my Mother insisted on re-stuffing him, on account of him looking rather thin. He know has red thread stitches to mark the occasion and still looks quite stuffed.
He was named Merrythought as he bore the label "merrythought", which has now worn out and disappeared.
He is still very loved and proudly sits on a little chair.
A little time worn or worn with time, perhaps.
I like to think of Time=Love.
If that be so,then Merrythought, my bear is very love worn.
For other timeworn stories,creations and photos checkout the Sunday Creative!
Enjoy!

Monday

Monday after a Sunday is always tough.
I always find it hard to get out of bed, wrestling with my cozy bed and the dilemma of just how many times I can realistically press snooze.
I love the weekends so much.
Saturdays, to laze around, catch up with washing, shopping and cleaning.
Then Sunday, yesterday, I had fun catching up with friends over a relaxing lunch after church.
I love girlie chats and pots of tea, don't you?
Of course, it was also Father's Day but we still managed to find space in our favourite cafe to eat and catch up.
I chose my favourite:

but I could have had this:

Then time for Lemon cake. I hoped it would be nicer that the one I made this weekend. It looked nice. Hmm. Nah. Dry.

It had been a tough decision because I also liked the look of this:

I should have had the coffee cake.
Next time.
So, Sunday came and went and it became Monday.
I fought the will and duvet and got up, went to work.
Swam at the gym to relax on the way home.
Ahh.
Home.
Wimbledon.
It's back.
Welcome back Wimbledon.
I have missed you.
I can't play tennis, not at all.
Not even for toffee.
What does that phrase mean?
Anyway, I can't play and have yet to go and watch a match.
I will be watching you on the telly and eating a few strawberries too.
And maybe a Pimms?

The Week of Hanging Around that Flew By

Where has this week gone?
It has been busy at work and seems to have flown by,despite all the Political waiting around for this nation this week.

Time almost stands still as we wait to hear news of who might be discussing with who for political power/sharing. Meanwhile, it is Friday 127/365 and I am waiting for my tea to cook.


Saturday 128/365 Sorting, tidying, cleaning. Seems like it wasn't just my washing hanging out with the results and decisions about a hung parliament and coalition.


Sunday 129/365 Successful sorting this weekend.


Monday 130/365 It might be May but it is very cold here for May! Only one thing for it: baton down the hatches and stay in the warm.


Tuesday 131/365 Scrapbook Night with friends and my task was to finish sorting the last of the photos from the heap in the banana box. gone. Finished. All done!


Wednesday 132/365 I did a scrapbook page and used some of these stickers!


Thursday 133/365 Creative Night with the girls and mine nearly went completely wrong!

My Being Thankful Week

This last week I have been thinking about things I am Thankful for.
I have been taking photos for my 365 project and reflecting on thankfulness for each day as it evolves. Here it is:
My Being thankful Week.

Friday 120/365 I am thankful for my Sat Nav: my loved Tom Tom. I used it to drive to my friends house for tea as the place she lives has streets that all interlink and twist and turn and after a while they all begin to look the same. Know the feeling of being lost and confused and disorientated? I have the cute Irish voice of Sean on my Tom Tom. Our relationship is mixed as sometimes he repeatedly tells me to turn round when I think I know where I am going and sometimes he flies off my windscreen yelling at me with his screen facing the corner away from me as if sulking. I used to hate driving places as night, trying to map read in the dark or having directions written on a post it, only to lose it out of the window in the wind on a summer drive. so Tom Tom, I love you. My Bible is my other wonderful source of direction for my life, too. I wouldn't wish to be without either, now I have them.

Saturday 121/365 I am thankful for my friends. I have lots of friends spread out in different parts of the UK and into the nations. I miss seeing many, often, as it isn't always easy travelling or playing diaries to get to see my friends. Since moving to this city a few years ago, I have begun to make some precious friendships here. Great to be able to meet up and share a coffee... and maybe cake too! I met one friend for coffee and cake today and it was fun.

Sunday 122/365 I am thankful for the Seasons of Life. A walk in my local park today, reminded me that it is now Spring. This last year I have been in a bit of a Winter, experiencing time to rest, recover, re-charge, re-discover, re-energise. I have had times where life has been mad crazy busy and whirlwinds of fun and productivity. Each season a blessing and needed. I am enjoying learning to appreciate times of Refreshing without pouring my life out all the time.

Monday 123/365 I am Thankful for creativity. I began making this bride cake topper out of fondant icing. Creativity is an amazingly fun gift and talent to have and I am beginning to learn to use and develop this gift within me. It will take me a lifetime to continue to try and master and I don't think I will be anyway near perfect at it but a girl can try, can't she.

Tuesday 124/365 I am thankful for safety. A reminder of times when I have known and experienced safety and protection from harm during my own abusive previous marriage. To feel safe is amazing and freedom itself.

Wednesday 125/365 I am Thankful for Relaxing Times. Reading in the bath or the garden are 2 of my favourite places, as is having a spa day, or relaxing with a great movie. These have all been especially important to me this last year as I have been recovering for post viral fatigue and re-discovering my well being again. Books like Punk Monk or Live Like You mean it talk about Rhythms of Life. Good one.

Thursday 126/365 Today is Election Day and I am Thankful for the freedom of choice to vote. Freedom of speech/voice is extremely powerful and as a woman to be able to vote is a necessary privilege. So, I made Election Day cupcakes. I will enjoy them, whilst we wait and see the outcomes.


What have you been thankful for this week?

Write about it here, or post a link to your blogpost!

The Gym Tail Begins.

I have never been to a gym before. That is, until last week when I went to look around one. It was lovely. Peaceful, impressive and local.
I joined.

What do you think?
I feel brave and scared all at once.

I decided that I wanted to swim again. I haven't swum for a year since being poorly with post viral fatigue and I miss it. I really miss it.
I could probably go to gymophobics, which would no doubt cater for me very well with my lack of gym experience, but they have no pool. I want to swim and if I get some gym fit experience too then that will be a bonus.

The local pool where I used to swim is freezing cold, mostly and as it is the local swimming club practise club, does swimming lessons,so there is limited public times available for me and the best one for me is too late at night as I still need my sleep at night.

Last year, my progress has been working from walking 10 min utes a day and last term to be back at work full time in a new job and have remaining energy for a few things in the evenings and weekends.

Now I am looking at increasing my energy capacity.

So, I decided that, as I enjoyed swimming over Easter so much that I would look into going somewhere warm to enjoy swimming and finding somewhere that might look after me a bit considering I have never been to the gym bit before. Ever.
When I was at school, in the sixth form, we had a great deal with a local pool to do a gym swim thing. I have always loved swimming. We just used to do the swim bit and then go and sit on the gym equipment and chat before cycling home. Ha x (The gym equipment was partly broken and no one ever showed us how to use it!)
So, last week was a first for me.
I loved the pool and the place is beautiful and if I ever go for a spa there I will get discounts, which all sounds pretty good to me.
On Friday, I went for my induction in the gym bit. The instructor couldn't quite believe that I had never been on a treadmill before.
Only at airports, I said.
The theory is, they give me an individual programme and a key which I put into the computer at the beginning and end of my time in the gym and each piece of equipment as I go round. It records my "progress"...
My initial aim is to do 10 minutes on each thing: bike, cross trainer (I always want to call it cross dresser) and treadmill. Otherwise known as the "dreadmill", for now, I think.
I did 2.... and felt quite proud. And tired.... and then went for a swim. My comfort zone.

I went for a swim yesterday again after work and loved it.
Tomorrow I will try and brave the gym again.

I wonder if I can remember how to use any of the equipment?
If not, I can either ask, cheat or press stop, right?

Are any of you gymophobics, like me?
I'd love to hear from you.
I will let you know how I get on too.

Wednesday Already?

Going back to work this week has been a jolt to the system and yet I can't quite believe it is Wednesday already. It is quite nice though. Only 2 more sleeps until the weekend.
Before the weekend though, I have my evening with the girls tomorrow night. Just a little alot excited. We chatted about the term ahead and thought about ideas we could do each week. One of the girly chicks, Abbie our talented artist, made the list all fancy on a designed and printed this postcard for each of us. Isn't she clever?High on the list came cake and our lovely encouragement nights and cheese and biscuit nights too! We are going to do some creative sharing nights where we will each take turns with leading a night with something creative to share and for us all to try. It should be great fun. I have to decide what I am going to do as we are such a creative and crafty bunch that it is hard to think of something at the moment. Hmm.What to do? I guess I can see what some of the other ladies do first as I am way down the list. We also decided to study a book together. We chose this book: "Live Like You Mean It" by Eric Delve. It carries the subtitle: "Discover the life you were made for" and so far it is quite good. We thought it would both challenge and be something to take us deeper in our desire to know God more and to hear his heart for the best for our lives. Only just started and we are looking at the first 2 chapters tomorrow!

Psalm 119 from my Journal

I have been doing a bit of a study on Psalm 119.
That's the really long one.
The
one
that
seems
to
go on
forever.
As I went through it, I focussed on the God who is Generous.
I am not into the whole prosperity teaching but it was quite a refreshing theme to look at generosity as this facet of His character.
He is not mean but generous.
Generous in heart.
Generous in how He comunicates with us.
Generous in how he wants the best for us.
This psalm seemed to be full of some lovely phrases on generosity for me - His faithfulness, the way He doesn't keep things hidden, or a secret. He is not out to trip us up, to trick us or to watch us stumble and fall.
This Psalm is full of reference to His promise to show us the way to go and to reveal things to us.

Here are a few things that struck me. I wonder what strikes you?

1. God speaks straight from His heart so I can learn the pattern of His righteous ways.
2. He is the God of wisdom, who shows me how to live. His word is a map and He posts sign posts along the way.
3. He shares life with me and holds nothing back, so that I don't have to forget a word of what He tells me. He doesn't keep things hidden from me - He opens my eyes and reveals His miracle wonders! Wow!
4. He barricades the road to nowhere and His true road goes to somewhere.
5. He gives lessons in how to live and affirms His promises to me.
6. I can look out for the ancient landmarks. He blazes a trail before me. Ilove the sense of history here. The Alpha and Omega. The God who was and is and is to come.
7. He trains me in good common sense. He breathes wisdom over me so that I can understand Him. If I wait for Him, His word is hope. I need lots of this.
8. What He says goes and what He says stays. When everything falls apart around me, He puts me together again with His word. Can't get much better than that, eh?
9. His decisions are right. His testing teaches me what is right and true. He loves me and holds me tight. He comforts me so that I can live. Really live.
10 He looks kindly on those who personally love Him. His word of promise steadies my steps.

And finally, my prayer is this: The way He tells me live is always right. Help me to understand it so I can live to the fullest.
Amen.

What is your prayer for today?

Palm Sunday and the unveiling of The Banners!

We have been working on these banners for the last 18 months.

We presented them at church today for Palm Sunday.

My vicar asked my friend Abbie if she would like to make some and she said she would ask me. The vision she had was for lots of textures, colours, fabrics all meshed together and entwined.We got lots of bargain fabric from an outlet warehouse that sell end of rolls by weight. I used lots of my lifetime collection of buttons and Gran's lifetime collection of embroidery threads!

As a house group we have prayed and worked hard on this and had fun and laughter as well as tears and sadness along the way.We felt that it is a symbolic creative expression of what God does in our lives. He takes our mess, our fragmented and shattered lives. He loves us and lives in us. He puts us together with others and calls us His Church. His beautiful and spotless Bride. During the last 18 months there has been a lot that has happened to us as a group of girls. Engagements, a wedding, new birth, house hunting, job hunting, broken friendships, illness and challenges, conflicts to resolve, shattered dreams, broken promises, the wonder of bewilderment, questions of future and direction.

A rich tapestry of life.

Quite a journey.
Maybe you can relate to some of these things too?
For us, knowing that God is the One who holds things together has been amazing for us to persevere and keep going through the joys and laughter and the ups and downs.

When we started the banners, I led my first all age service at church. We looked at David and Goliath and the faithfulness of God. When David went into battle he took his staff. He had already fought the lion and the bear and knew that the God who had helped him would prove himself faithful again.
The significance of his staff was that he would already have 2 notches carved out of it. A notch carved for each battle won. 2 examples of the provenness of God as he went into battle. Faithful God. The God who is faithful who leads us through. We each had long strips of cloth and each tied knots into them to represent our own journey with God, recording the significant times we have known and seen the Faithfulness of God for ourselves.

We kept these as tassels and added them to the banners.

Today we read a beautiful poem called Tapestry that one of our talented girls from house group wrote. It seemed to fit with the service and our banners perfectly.
You can read it here.We also read from the Message: 1 Peter 2.
I hope you like the finished banners and that you can reflect on the times when God has proved Himself faithful to you, particularly in this Holy Week as we approach Easter. Have a blessed week.